New Findings and Memories Through Trusting Support of Believers

This journey of recovery from PTSD of mine has by no means been a very easy road to travel. And I must say, one of the biggest obstacles I have endured was the stopping of all memory processing by a cabinet full of psych meds. Oh sure, these meds helped me so I wouldn’t have to face the truths and pains of my past, but they also took away a huge part of my memory while I was taking them.

At the end of 2012 I was involved in two car accidents. Therefore the state required me to take a sleep disorder test, thinking I must be falling asleep at the wheel. Prior to doing this, the neurologist asked me to be properly weaned off all my medications. After doing this, memories of my childhood began to come back. At this time I realized it hadn’t only been my childhood trauma years those meds made me forget, heck, I had even forgotten good times in my life and even my time as a soldier in the United States Army.

I spent time going back through my medical records and found I had been diagnosed with PTSD in the year 2006, an emergency intake social worker at the local community mental health had believed my life story, Amen. Though, the bummer of it, I had been turned over to a therapist, once again, that totally disregarded that diagnosis and he re-diagnosed me with Bi-Polar Disorder and through all those meds at me once again.

My only comforting thoughts for this happening once again in 2006 is that God must have felt it best for me not to process all the additional memories that came flooding back once I was off those psych meds in 2012. As these were some extremely painful memories that had tried to surface in 2006, that my therapist at that time did not believe evidently. And my guess is that God left it for me to process after my children were grown adults, so they did not have to suffer the consequences of my painful memories.

I was very fortunate and had found a Christian therapist in the year 2011 that had believed my life story. I had encounters with her back in 2006, as she was a member of the same church as I. She told me when I began to see her in 2011 that she knew I was a sufferer of PTSD and not Bi-Polar but couldn’t tell me before because I was not her client. Bless her heart. Her belief in me and in Our Great Father made this last leg of my Recovery Journey a thousand times easier than being with a therapist that did not believe my life story! Amen. I also began sharing my life story with my Pastor and his belief and support of me has made a tremendous difference in my recovery. There is nothing, if you ask me, more difficult when dealing with trauma, when you can’t even find a therapist to believe your mishaps in life. That can make matters even worse! I thank God every day for the Christian therapist I found and for my Pastor.

So I must say, I credit my faith and give all the glory to God for bringing such wonderful God loving people into my life. If it weren’t for them being faithful followers of Jesus Christ and me staying close to our God during the last year, I’m not even certain I would be here today. Praise the Lord!!


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Art Work

Well, I have not been writing much lately, but I have done some Art work that will fit in well with my series of memoirs.  Amen.  I am finding that I enjoy drawing portraits quite a bit.  It is especially fun, when I can make myself look better than I really do, lol, just kidding.  I am really enjoying drawing though and thank God for the gift of creativity, Amen.  Now just looking forward when I can afford to purchase a guitar and attempt to play and sing, Amen.  I love to praise the Lord, Amen.

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Ghost Writer

I have come to the decision that I would like to find a “Ghost Writer,” for my memoirs.  Does anyone know who can guide me with this?  I will also be checking with Tricia McDonald.  I am just too tired to actually do the writing.  I am willing to negotiate and am on the search for a writer.

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The Truth Shall Set You Free

I must admit; as of May 19, 2013; I have been totally set free by Jesus Christ.  It is in his word, John 8:32  And the truth shall set you free.  I am free of all bondages here by other human flesh, and all addictions of any sort.  Due to the mercy and grace of God, with my faith staying strong and becoming completely obedient to his laws, I have been set free.  This new life is just amazingly beautiful and so joyous to my heart.  I am just in awe over his glory, and the grace God has poured upon me.  I know the Holy Spirit can be seen in my face today, as I have seen it in others that I know.  What a beautiful, beautiful thing, just knowing the new glow can be seen by others who have experienced this transgression.  I am going to say it like my daughter Mindi Sue did on the 19th of May; “Mom, you are high on Jesus.”  Oh, she is so absolutely correct!!!  And, I shared with her and we just giggled and giggled, until our bellies hurt that evening, the good Lord had even worked through her, for me to see his light.  What an awesome way of being set free and of the good life, walking hand and hand with Jesus!!  I could not ask for any more than he has given me today!!!  I am flying high!!!  My health still isn’t quite back to where I’d like it to be, though I cannot really remember the last time I have actually complained.  I feel Jesus carries me when it gets too difficult for me to walk.  I am being blessed in every direction, and in every way and form.  Thank you, Jesus.

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New Findings through Christ Our Lord and My Brother

I just wanted to post an update on where my faith and believe and obedience in Jesus Christ has led me to, as of today.  I feel that I have been totally set free, as it says in John 8:32, Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.  And with that, my abilities to grow in stronger in my faith and become more obedient, and to attempt to become more like Jesus Christ as he asked us to be; has come alive and active in me.  What a blessing!!  Without God, I know I would still be under the control of many demons and even worshiping other God’s and possibly practicing an addiction of some sort, and with do doubt breaking many of the laws,” The Ten Commandments,” that have been set in place by Our Great Father above.  I thank him several times a day for watching over me and at times definitely carrying me, so I can live with a heart of peace and joy, and forgiveness today.  My heart actually aches for whom I, for one, have taken much abuse from, knowing this person has got to be barely walking with that much sin on her shoulders, if she has not repented and given her life completely over to God.  I pray for her every day!!  Life is good, though I am experiencing many physical ailments presently in my life; which the medical field cannot find answers to why yet.  My guess is these could have been caused by the 12 years I spent on un-needed psych meds, as I have been free of all of those type of medications for approximately 9-10 months; properly weened by a trained psychiatrist, due to my new diagnosis of my Christian Trauma Therapist from 5th Reformed Church in Muskegon, Michigan; of PTSD.  Friends, I am floating on a cloud now, with no substances of any sort, approximately 1 1/2 years clean from marijuana, 9 1/2 from alcoholism, and most importantly 1 solid year of not being controlled or worshipping any other God’s before him!!!  Amen and Amen.  I will be posting more this evening, until then, please consider, looking up and drawing close to Our Great Healer, so you too can smell the flowers, or laugh about “cake balls,” like I was able to this morning, with my Pastor’s wife, Nancy Burmeister.  God is Good!!

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My series of Memoirs has been put on hold.

I wanted to inform my friends and followers, that for the present time my series of Memoir writing has unfortunately been put on hold. I am awaiting some more answers from Our Great Father in Heaven and for the financing of my coach, Tricia McDonald; (which should be coming soon), so I can move forward with this in a very positive, faith based manner. I will inform you that my Audience of my Memoirs is to reach; the sexually and emotionally abused, those that are on a recovery journey or even any experience with any diagnoses of mental illness, substance abuse and alcoholics, those that have been abused by our Countries Psychiatric System, Suicide Survivors, spiritual believers and followers of Jesus Christ; this is to name a few off the top of my head. I will definitely keep you informed of when I will be getting back to my writings and moving forward with my coach, editor and publisher to be, Tricia McDonald.

With sincere thanks and with the love and trust of Our Great Father in Heaven, please stay tuned.

Love in Christ,
Mary Jackson.

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My first Memoir

Today is the first day of the beginning of writing my memoir.  I have had a lot of tips from Jack Canfield, Tricia McDonald, Brooke Warner and Suzanne Sherman; all very highly respected authors with Best Sellers and publishing experience.  I ought to be able to write a pretty good “shitty first draft,” that’s what we authors call it.  Also, with the time I have spent with the Lord in the last 4 months, I am feeling quite confident.  I pray, you will keep my writing in your prayers and be one of my cheerleaders.  Therefore, I plan to be writing between the hours of 10pm-11pm nightly, until I at least sign up for my coaching with Tricia McDonald, the Writing Passage in Grand Haven.  Until then, please keep me in your prayers and thanks for the support.  God Bless, Mary.

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