This journey of recovery from PTSD of mine has by no means been a very easy road to travel. And I must say, one of the biggest obstacles I have endured was the stopping of all memory processing by a cabinet full of psych meds. Oh sure, these meds helped me so I wouldn’t have to face the truths and pains of my past, but they also took away a huge part of my memory while I was taking them.
At the end of 2012 I was involved in two car accidents. Therefore the state required me to take a sleep disorder test, thinking I must be falling asleep at the wheel. Prior to doing this, the neurologist asked me to be properly weaned off all my medications. After doing this, memories of my childhood began to come back. At this time I realized it hadn’t only been my childhood trauma years those meds made me forget, heck, I had even forgotten good times in my life and even my time as a soldier in the United States Army.
I spent time going back through my medical records and found I had been diagnosed with PTSD in the year 2006, an emergency intake social worker at the local community mental health had believed my life story, Amen. Though, the bummer of it, I had been turned over to a therapist, once again, that totally disregarded that diagnosis and he re-diagnosed me with Bi-Polar Disorder and through all those meds at me once again.
My only comforting thoughts for this happening once again in 2006 is that God must have felt it best for me not to process all the additional memories that came flooding back once I was off those psych meds in 2012. As these were some extremely painful memories that had tried to surface in 2006, that my therapist at that time did not believe evidently. And my guess is that God left it for me to process after my children were grown adults, so they did not have to suffer the consequences of my painful memories.
I was very fortunate and had found a Christian therapist in the year 2011 that had believed my life story. I had encounters with her back in 2006, as she was a member of the same church as I. She told me when I began to see her in 2011 that she knew I was a sufferer of PTSD and not Bi-Polar but couldn’t tell me before because I was not her client. Bless her heart. Her belief in me and in Our Great Father made this last leg of my Recovery Journey a thousand times easier than being with a therapist that did not believe my life story! Amen. I also began sharing my life story with my Pastor and his belief and support of me has made a tremendous difference in my recovery. There is nothing, if you ask me, more difficult when dealing with trauma, when you can’t even find a therapist to believe your mishaps in life. That can make matters even worse! I thank God every day for the Christian therapist I found and for my Pastor.
So I must say, I credit my faith and give all the glory to God for bringing such wonderful God loving people into my life. If it weren’t for them being faithful followers of Jesus Christ and me staying close to our God during the last year, I’m not even certain I would be here today. Praise the Lord!!